Exotic Pineapples
by AllieAmberwhite
Summary: All great adventures come to an end. But after one ends, another one is bound to begin.
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea while camping. Why camping, i dunno. But I COULDN'T GET THE IMAGES OUT OF MY HEAD! So i swore that when i got back from my trip, I'd try and work it out. So here's a short chapter to begin it all. **

**I OWN EVERYTHING.**

***Manhandled by men in scary suits***

**RAAAAAAAAPE!**

***Manhandled more***

**FINE! I dun own anything. How sad. ;_;**

Alec was sitting in his closet, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, talking to his lovable boyfriend over the Institutes land line.

"Have you ever been anywhere other than Idris and New York?" Magnus asked. Alec pondered the question briefly. "Well, no... I've never had the opportunity to take such time off, you know? Shadowhunting and everything." Alec responded, pushing his hair from his eyes. "Would you object to going somewhere with me, then?" Magnus questioned further.

Alec blinked. "Go somewhere?"

Magnus chuckled. "It would be a bit of a vacation. But for me, it's also business. I've been asked by a very old friend of mine to uh, perform."

"Perform? What, a magic show?" Alec laughed at his little pun. Magnus laughed with him. "It's actually quite a mundane performance, I just spruce it up a little."

"Well, what is it?" Alec balanced the phone on his shoulder for a moment as he opened his closet door to make sure (for the thirteenth time) that nobody was listening through his door. "It's a fire show. In Hawaii. I think you'd like it, actually. I'd be lacking normal clothing. Just me, my tanned skin, a grass skirt, and a shark tooth necklace." Magnus's voice dripped of something seductive, and Alec did find such an image quite enticing.

"Hawaii... I've heard of that place, sounds nice..." Alec felt himself smile.

"I've even taking the privilege of asking your mother if it was alright for you to disappear for a week. She surprisingly said yes!"

If Magnus had actually been anywhere near him, he probably would've attacked him with kisses. "Just the two of us?"

Magnus purred into the phone. "Me and you, and an exotic resort. But I warn you now, bring your confidence and jealousy. Last time I did a fire show I got hit on a little more than I'm used to."

Alec's voice was sharp. "If anyone made a move, I'll be there in a second, sinking a seraph blade in between their shoulders."

Magnus said nothing.

"Well ok, I'd slap them, tell them to get the fuck off my man, and then passionately kiss you. Happy?"

"More than happy. We'll be taking a plane to the airport in two days."

"Plane? And here I thought you'd want to take a portal."

"Portal's are exhausting. It's easier this way, plus, it's a something new for you to experience. And baby once you fly first class, that's all you'll ever want to do."

"I'll take your word on that."

"Damn skippy you will. We'll be staying at the Pineapple Suite and Resort Palace. My warlock friend, I'll call him 'Marvin', has reserved his penthouse for us. It's quite nice. A bed a tad smaller than my own, and I already went there to re-decorate for our standards. It'll be nice, you need this, Alec. Relaxation."

Alec smiled, a blush creeping into his cheeks. "I love you, you know..."

"I love you too hunni-pot. Now I'll see you tomorrow? What time anyways?"

"Bright and early to drag you out of bed."

"Oh Alec, you're so deliciously evil."

Alec smirked. "Bye Magnus..."

"Love you honey, bye."

Alec lingered on the line for a moment, wrapping his head around the idea that he was going on a vacation with his boyfriend. And he didn't even have to ask his mother!

Later that evening, Alec had already packed up. Well, more like every time he opened his closet, clothes that Magnus evidentially thought would be appropriate for the occasion kept appearing. he just put them in his duffel bag. When he finally left his room, he couldn't keep his smile off his face.

He entered the kitchen with an air of happiness. The occupants of the kitchen looked over, greeted him, yada yada yada. But they all kept looking at him as he went to the fridge and pulled out a soda. He sat next to Simon, still smiling.

"What has your happy hormone in the all time high?" Jace asked, slurping up noodles noisily. "I'm going on a vacation." He muttered, his eyes shining with excitement. Suddenly, Jace and Isabelle were standing, looking flabbergasted. "VACATION! SINCE WHEN ARE YOU GOING ON VACATION! WE DON'T EVEN GET VACATION!"

"Magnus."

That one word explained everything.

"Good luck convincing mum." Isabelle snarled, angrily stabbing her lemon chicken with a single chopstick. "Magnus already did." His smile became larger, if possible. Simon nodded in understanding. "Congrats man." He said.

"I can't believe that. All you two will do is canoodle under some sheets." Jace said, annoyed. "Magnus is performing. A fire show. He won't be wearing anything but a grass skirt. And a necklace. Gold make-up maybe." Alec was hardly even talking to them, he just seemed to be fantasizing. "Are you going to Cuba or something?" Simon asked. Alec shook his head. "Hawaii."

Isabelle and Jace were sooo jealous. "And he didn't invite me? If anyone is sexy in a skirt, it would be me." Jace claimed. "Magnus out does you by a tenfold. Trust me, I've seem him without a shirt on." Alec contradicted.

Simon raised his eyebrows. "Didn't need to know that, even if his pectorals and all nice and manly."

**Next chapter will include Alec's visit to his boyfriend of sparkly doom the next morning. What happens in that chapter, is best left till the next chapter. ;D**

**In my opinion though, I could've spent more time on this chapter, but I just wanna get to the good parts, ya know? :D**

**Reviews are like sex!**

**~AllieAmberwhite**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter TWO WOOOOO! :D**

**So in this chappie, Alec goes to visit Magnus the morning following the discovery of a VACAAATIOOOON~! :D**

**Warning, contains highly sexual content, and tons of gayness.**

**Dontcha just LOVE it? :D**

**-Moofasa-Says-"Let this story...- BEGIN!"-**

Alec awoke that morning with butterflies in his stomach.

After his very short 'getting ready' process, he grabbed what he'd need for the walk, and took the lengthy walk to his boyfriends flat.

Upon reaching the door, his smile grew impossibly huge as he let himself in with his glittery purple key. He stomped up the stairs two at a time, tackling the warlock that stood in the doorway. He attacked his glittery love with kisses all over his face and neck. "Well good morning to you too, sweetie." Magnus chuckled, pressing his lips against Alec's temple. "You're up really early..." Alec said in-between kisses. "I was to excited to sleep." Magnus claimed.

"Oh?" 

"I couldn't help but squeal with delight at the thought of me and my lovely Shadowhunter going on a little vacation."

Alec pressed a lengthy kiss to Magnus's bright red mouth eagerly. "You're right, I need this. Away from the Institute..." Alec sighed, looking over Magnus's face.

Such face, was void of any make-up but some eyeliner, red-tinged lip gloss, and silver glitter. His hair, was surprisingly all powder blue, so black to be seen.

"Your hair is blue."

"Stating the obvious darling. Your hair is black."

"Mm..." Alec kissed him again. "I love you..."

Magnus showed his love with his tongue, letting the powerful organ slip into Alec's waiting mouth. He savored the taste as best he could. "When was the last time I saw you naked?" Magnus randomly asked. Alec blushed as red as Magnus's lips. "Two days ago...?" He guessed.

He guessed correctly. "Two days to long, I think. Come on." Alec let himself be dragged to the hot pink couch, his fingers looped around Magnus's multiple belts. Magnus lightly (not) pushed Alec onto the couch, straddling his hips gingerly. To Alec, this was a tease!

"Magnus..." Alec whimpered, shivering from the feel of Magnus's hot tongue caressing his jugular. "Shush." Magnus whispered, nipping at Alec's ear playfully. His hands traveled up and down Alec's torso, and eventually under his shirt. "Arms up, love." Magnus said, and Alec immediately obliged. When the shirt was discarded onto the shag carpet, Alec pulled Magnus close, stealing his warmth the best he could.

Their kiss was heated, and anxious, when at long last Magnus suddenly pulled away, and off Alec's lap entirely. Alec frowned, staring at Magnus with an evident lust in his eyes. "What are you doing...?" He questioned.

"Stripping. I very well can't ravish you as much as I'd like to with clothes on." Magnus replied coolly. Alec couldn't tear his eyes away from Magnus even if he tried. Which he didn't.

If he had, he would've missed Magnus unzipping a very baggy hoodie with Japanese signs all over it. He would've regretted not being able to watch Magnus carefully shed off his wife-beater, black in color with purple glittery cryptograms. He would neglect Magnus undoing criss-crossing strings that held Magnus's pants together.

But he saw it all, and was impossibly stiff. Magnus ran his tongue over his lip piercing, smirking at Alec's lack of composure.

"Stand up, Nephilim." He purred, swinging one of his recently discarded zebra belts in circles. Alec obeyed, finding himself drawn to the Asian hottie faster that a seraph blade to a demon's throat. Magnus's hands went directly to Alec's jeans, undoing them and letting them fall. Alec let his own thumbs slip into the elastic of his boxers, quickly pushing them down (with Magnus's help, of course.)

The two slammed back together, their kiss was feverish, and eager. When Alec ground against him, Magnus's knees buckled and they fell to the floor, lips still attached to the others. Alec went to work, traveling his fiery kisses down Magnus's body.

"J-Just imagine what sex on the b-beach would be like..." He breathed out, and moaning aloud when Alec's hot breathe hit his arousal. "What it would be like indeed..." Alec murmured, capturing his lovers length between his teeth. Magnus hissed, his cat eyes rolling back into his skull.

Alec's head bobbed up and down, letting his teeth scrape along Magnus's cock at random times, and each time earning a throaty moan from the Warlock.

Magnus was moments from blowing his load, but was tortured when Alec pulled away. Magnus groaned at the loss of the heat, his hips lightly bucking into the air. "Come here, please...?" Magnus pleaded with a mischievous Alec. Alec crawled back on top of Magnus, kissing him heatedly once more, before letting himself be impaled.

Alec muffled his moan in Magnus's throat, shivering from the delicious friction. The thrusts were hard, and deep, complete bliss. Alec's hands were hard against the floor, keeping himself elevated. Magnus however has Alec's ass in his hands, his sharp purple nails digging in ruthlessly.

Magnus sighed Alec's name when he felt the familiar knotting his stomach, and his next thrust was hard, and fast. Alec cried out, biting Magnus's lips to refrain from being to loud.

Within the next minute Alec had his much needed release. Magnus did moments later, riding out the orgasm like his life depended on it.

Exhausted, Alec rolled off of Magnus, cuddling into his side, breathe heavy. "Well, now I really can't wait to go to Hawaii."

Magnus beamed, kissing Alec's forehead lightly, before the two passed out.

**-Moofasa-Says-This-Is-The-EEEEND!-**

**Teh Awe! :D**

**Gay smex for the wiiin.**

**OH HEEEY! **

**Next chapter is Alec's adventure in the airport ;D**

**OH HEEEEY!**

**Also, I might not update for a day or two, I have to go back home :/ (I'm at my mothers, and my house doesn't have internet yet [I moved recently _])**

**Reviews are loved3**

**-AllieAmberwhite**


	3. Chapter 3

**All is Fair with Love and Lemons.**

**Or, All is Fair in Magic and Lore.**

**(Ignore that mumbo jumbo)**

**I'm pondering an idea for a Malec centered fic, and it's basically a WHAT IF question, on what would happen if ALEC was the one asking Magnus to call him at that party in the City of Bones. It'd be multi-chaptered, but hey, I ish still pondering. Leave me alone :P Unless of course, you have an idea to add onto it .**

**So here's the third chapter in Exotic Pineapples, and maybe in later chapters I'll let you know exactly WHY it's called Exotic Pineapples.**

**But not now :D**

**So anywhoo, I own nothing, believe it or not, and since I don't want to be felt up by scary men in black suits, I won't say that I own them.**

**Though I wish I did.**

A day and 3/4's went by, and at last Alec and Magnus were at the Institute, saying their final good-byes.

"Send us pictures!" Isabelle said, hugging her brother and his sparkly boyfriend in one big bear hug. "But none that contain kissing. That'll scar me brain." Jace requested, ignoring Magnus and fist bumping with Alec. Clary wrapped them each in a careful, light hug individually. "If you see dolphins, that'd be great. Send me pictures?" She asked while she delivered the hugs.

"This is all well and emotional, seeing your big brother going away with a scary Downworlder, but honestly Nephilim, we've got Brooklyn traffic to drive through and a plane to catch." Magnus said impatiently, just as Mayrse and Robert came through a random door nearby. They sauntered over, building tension.

"Ready to go, son?" Robert asked, eyeing Magnus's bright pink harem pants with only a slight look of disgust. Alec nodded, smiling and placing his hand within Magnus's. Mayrse caught the gesture with a her sharp eyes. "And you'll phone when you get there?" She badgered. Alec tried his best to roll his eyes without being to obvious. "Yes." He confirmed.

"Well... Bye." And with that Mayrse turned on her heal and stalked out of the room, with a heavily sighing Robert on her heels. The rest of the inhabitants of the foyer were silent for a moment...

"Well, BYE!" Magnus chirped suddenly, pulling Alec by the back of the shirt out the door. Alec blushed and laughed, waving at the three remaining Shadowhunters. Said three Shadowhunters stepped out on to the welcome mat, smiling and waving. Magnus opened the door of his bright purple punch buggy convertible for Alec, and then flounced to the drivers side.

"We'll keep in touch!" Magnus shouted over, slipping his matching purple sunglasses onto his nose, then cranked up the radio.

The radio was playing music in a foreign language Alec couldn't identify. With a last look, Magnus slammed down on the gas peddle, successfully jumping the car into the air and on top of another car, and began to drive over the traffic.

Alec could tell he was overly giddy with excitement. the music over the radio was very upbeat, and crafty. Not to mention Magnus was singing along, and when they hit a red light, Magnus began playing an air guitar. He played it so well, that Alec wouldn't have been surprised if he were the one actually playing it in the first place.

"Who is this?" Alec asked over the loud blare of music. "MIYAVI!" Magnus screamed, jumping in his seat. Alec scooted over and away from Magnus unconsciously, slightly put off by Magnus's over enthusiasm. "Is he.. Asian?" Alec questioned further. "Japanese Korean!" He shouted as the light turned green. "So, like you?" Alec asked, more to himself than Magnus. "Very much so darling!" Magnus beamed, flying over the New York traffic with ease. "One day, I'll take you to where I was born, and hot damn we will go visit him. He is, believe it or not, my veeeery distant nephew." Magnus said, jamming out once more.

Alec blinked. "Nephew...?"

"I had a sister." Magnus said simply. His suddenly sullen tone implied Alec not to press the subject. So he didn't. Alec tried to put on a lighter note, "So can you speak Japanese and Korean...?"

"Japanese, English, Arabic, French, Spanish, Latin, Romanian, Greek, and the all knowing and feared language of Lilith."

Alec's eyes widened each more with every language he mentioned. "That's amazing..." Alec whispered, smiling at his amazing boyfriend.

"Like I said Allie, we'll head to Japan one of these days, and then my dear, we will visit my nephew. And don't be surprised if he hugs you right off the bat."

"Uhm, have you met him before?"

"Me and him look exactly alike. Half of his music videos are me and him switching off. I wore contacts." Magnus said, bobbing his head to a Spanish sounding Japanese song. Alec processed this new information thoughtfully, and eventually smiled. "The amazing Magnus Bane..." He said to himself, letting his hand entwine with Magnus's.

"Enough talk about Japan and Ta-Chan, we're heading to Hawaii baby!" Magnus said, squeezing Alec's hand tightly, pulling into a parking lot.

A rough 30 minutes later, they were finally inside the airport after Magnus had triple checked that they had everything they needed. Standing within the airport was oddly exhilarating for Alec. "So mundanes come here, and jump on a plane to go somewhere father away?" Alec asked. Magnus nodded, throwing a heavily tattooed arm around Alec's shoulders, only gaining a couple of stares. Alec blushed. "So where do we go now?"

"We get out tickets!" Magnus directed Alec to a long counter, where they dropped off their baggage and retrieved aforementioned tickets. Magnus took him to the food court area, to buy a coffee for their wait. "Why do they have restaurants here?" Alec pondered aloud, still looking around the strange set up.

"Sometimes delays in flights are ridiculously long, so they figured might as well put a place for the mundanes to sit around, stuff themselves, and even do a little tourist shopping while they wait." Magnus said, staring dreamily at the Shadowhunter. Alec felt his blush come back in full vigor, and when he attempted to reply to the Warlock, he was drowned out by a multitude of giddy squeals and screeches.

Magnus smirked at Alec, before turning in his seat slowly in the direction of the noise. Alec was able to see three girls, with dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes, and larger than average noses pointing at his boyfriend. "That's him!" The tallest one screamed. "That's Bane!" The shortest exclaimed, her voice was quieter, her excitement was taking it's toll on her vocal cords. When Magnus was turned to face them, the shrieking only got louder. And if was near deafening when Magnus waggled his fingers at them.

One of the girls fainted, and Alec's jaw dropped in shock. Magnus chuckled, turning back to face Alec. "Before you ask, yeah, I know them. They were at my fire show last year. I'm... Fairly famous in that area. Those three bombarded me to near death, I swear. One of them had the nerve to ask me out." Magnus said, taking his sunglasses off. Alec was once again cut off from being able to speak, when the three fan girls appeared, keeping the one who fainted steady.

"Magnus Bane! Hi! Do you remember us?" Said the one wearing a Hawaiian print dress. "Teri." Magnus said nonchalantly. "Aaand Rylie. Cameron." He said to each in turn. The one named Cameron had a seductive glint in her eyes. Alec could instantly tell that this 'Cameron' was the one who had the nerve to ask out his boyfriend once upon a time. "It's nice to see you again. Performing at the Pineapple again this year?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip. Alec didn't like her. At all.

"You know it." Magnus replied, running a hand through his powder blue hair. "So uhm, you're on your own again this year?" She pressed. She hadn't acknowledged Alec at ALL.

Alec grit his teeth, not trying at all to hold back the glare he had for this insufferable woman. "Nope," Magnus said with a smirk, gesturing to Alec. "This is my boyfriend, Alec. Alec, these are the- er, the girls." Magnus introduced. "You mean friend?" The one named Rylie said in slight skepticism. Magnus got an all to familiar mischievous look in his eyes. "If he were just a friend, and straight for that matter, I'm sure he wouldn't let me do this..."

Alec cocked his head, puzzled, that is until Magnus lurched across the table and assaulted his mouth. Alec gasped, allowing Magnus unlimited access to the warm cavern, his tongue curling around Alec's possessively. Alec barely heard the girls gasp, he was to enveloped in Magnus's passionate embrace... Of course he was blushing regardless, and slightly embarrassed from the very public display... Even if he had done it once before.

Magnus pulled away by only a few centimeters, staring into Alec's blue robs, showing his love through his own slitted eyes. Alec's blush was just too cute, that Magnus found himself kissing him briefly once more.

When Magnus pulled away completely, the look on Rylie and Teri's faces were priceless to Magnus, and horrified to Alec. But the look on Cameron's face was down right terrifying.

Cameron stomped away, dragging her two whispering friends away by the elbows.

"What's the matter? Can't handle boy on boy action, can you Cam?" Magnus called after her, laughing. Alec blinked, slightly awed by Magnus's enforcing tone. A tone that made Cameron's strides away from them longer and faster.

"Cameron was the one who asked you out, I take it?" Alec asked when Magnus has finally settled down. "Came at me like a rhino. She pretty much tried to rape me after the luau. I rejected her, of course. I wasn't interested in a relationship at the time. Too focused on reconnecting with old friends that have separated themselves from the Clave." Magnus said.

Alec nodded, trying to focus his attention on Magnus's hands in his own, rather than recognize that someone was glaring daggers into his back.

**Hot diggidy damn we got a possible plot thickener?**

**MAYBE SO! :O**

**Next up on Exotic Pineapples, **

**Alec and Magnus become a part of a VERY elite club aboard the plane ;D**

**Can anyone guess what it is? **

**Look forward to hearing from you ;D**

**~Allie Amberwhite**


	4. Chapter 4

**I haven't updated in so long, thanks to me being so busy with my house reno's and such. That, and my purse was stolen along with my laptop (broken anyways) and brand new camera, and more.**

**That, and my dad's house STILL has to internet. Not even a phone line... BUUUUUT:::**

**I was listening to Selfish Love by Miyavi, and I see as a song that can well describe Magnus and Alec o.o**

**Anywhooooooooooo, I'M BACK IN THE MOOD TO CLAIM THAT OWN ALL OF THIZ SHIZZNAT!**

**But I sadly know I already don't. ._.**

**If i did however, Camille WOULD NOT show up in City of Fallen Angels, AND NOT try and destroy Magnus and Alec!**

***Cough* Uhm. Yah. **

**Heh, did you know when trying to type WARLOCK I spelled WARLCOK?**

**SOUNDED FRICKIN HILARIOUS WHEN I READ IT ALOUD XD**

**Here's chapter 4.**

The tunnel never ended. It was white, but dark, with a carpet that looked worn, and dirty. It smelled damp, but hinted of something citrus... Or maybe that was just Magnus.

Alec wasn't afraid of the tunnel that lead to the plane, but it didn't stop him from feeling slightly claustrophobic. But luckily, the sweet scent of Magnus, and the smooth skin of Magnus's hand was able to distract him enough. However the endless chatter from the people pushing through, eager to get on the plane was unavoidable.

"Are airports usually this noisy?" Alec asked over the everlasting babble. "They can be, it aaall depends on the flight. That, and I'm wearing a glamour so that over three quarters of the people here don't fully recognize me. they're all going to the Pine to watch the show. And like you witnessed with Teri, Rylie and Cameron... I'm popular. And sought after by many people... Of both genders. So like I asked you before... Confidence. For I will be showing you a lot of public affection in the next few days." Magnus said, looking over at Alec with a smile specially reserved for him alone.

"I love you..." Alec said, loud enough for only Magnus to hear. Magnus responded with a quick kiss on the lips. "Are you ready for the heat of Hawaii, hunni-pot?" Alec smiled, squeezing Magnus's hand reassuringly. "Yes."

"EXCELLANT!" Magnus yelled, suddenly dropping his glamour and flat out dragging Alec to their seats, closest to the bathrooms. Alec tried to become stable, let his perfect balance rune do it's job... but for some reason that miserably failed.

Silly Warlock.

Magnus strapped Alec into his seat, and pulled the lovely dividers around the seats they occupied. Alec was amazed. This according to Magnus, was first class. All the luxury you can get on a plane. The perks gave you privacy, comfort, and free booze.

At least, that's what Magnus said.

They even had a small television screen, with a credit card slot and two pairs of really comfy looking headphones.

"Well, what do you think?" Magnus asked after Alec had spent five long minutes gawking at the unfamiliar surroundings. "It 's... Not like the movies." Alec barely was able to splutter the words out. Magnus smiled, taking hold of Alec's hand, and after running his thumb over a patch of skin, he kissed it, and Alec gasped at the surprisingly painful interaction. Magnus kissed it once, and the pain went away, leaving poor Alec confused.

"This'll help when we're in the air, to keep your ears from plugging." Magnus informed him, gesturing to the extremely small, spiral shaped marking on the base of his thumb. Alec blinked rapidly, then smiled. "Thank you..." He whispered, still a little frazzled from the unexpected pain. Alec put the armrest between them up, and out of the way so he could lean into Magnus comfortably. Magnus welcomed his weight, leaning back so that they were balanced. "Excited?" Alec asked, now holding Magnus's hand in both of his own. Magnus laughed lightly, "Extremely."

Alec turned his head and kissed Magnus's temple, unbelievably thankful for the dividers that hid them from everyone else on the plane.

"Now Alec, when you hear the annoying music and then random people talking, hang on tight. If you've never traveled by plane, this will be a thrill." Magnus said, sighing in contentment at the small kisses that followed.

A thrill was an underestimation.

20 minutes later the plane was in the air, and Magnus was desperately trying to nurse Alec back to health from a severe panic attack.

"Baby!" Magnus stuttered, fanning Alec's face frantically, "You OK?"

Alec's hyperventilation soon calmed, and he just sat their, now on Magnus's lap, clinging to his shirt and practically inhaling the glitter on Magnus's person.

"Th-that was so fucking weird!" Alec managed to gasp out, deeply breathing and only slightly erratically. "Gosh I didn't expect that. Maybe we'll just portal home, hm?" Magnus negotiated. Alec nodded frantically, finally relaxing into Magnus's embrace.

"Anything I can do to help you, darling?" Magnus asked after several moments of silence.

Alec was silent for a moment more, before an unusually devious smile played across his lips. "Kiss me?" He requested, looking up at magnus through thick, black eyelashes.

Magnus stared at him with his pecular eyes, a smirk coming into play. He dipped down and quickly pecked his boyfriend on the lips. "Better?"

Alec raised his eyebrows at him. "Longer kisses."

Magnus held his lips in place for three seconds, and just as Alec was about to touch his tongue to Magnus's peach flavored lips, Magnus pulled away. Alec frowned, at long last slipping his hand to the back of Magnus's neck, and forcefully merging their lips together. Magnus smirked, musing on how hot it was to have his sweet little Shadowhunter take the initiative. He groaned when Alec's tongue ran over the crease of his lips, slowly easing them apart. Magnus groaned, relishing in the feeling of Alec's silky tongue against his, and taking credit for Alec's amusement with the small pink and black striped ball in the middle of Magnus's tongue.

"Does the divider have a lock on it?"

It took Magnus a moment to realize what Alec was talking about it, but it eventually clicked, and a smile worth of putting the Cheshire cat out of business sprung forth. "Even if it didn't, I have my magic..."

"Then make use of it, downworlder."

**Hehehehehehe. That was part one. :D**

**When I finish looking at j-rock fan service on youtube, I'll get back to you :P**

**.**

**I am simply spewing different ideas for Malec. **

**And I'm having dreams of high school for everyone. i know some people dun like it, especially if they were the nes to start such a thing. But hey. Can't blame me for being inspired by YOU.**

**:D**

**Lul. Warlcok.**

**Love, With kisses,**

**Allie :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**!**

**STUPID FANFICTION DELETED MY LEMON.**

**FUCK!**

**Unfortunatley, it would take FOREVER for me to re-write it to it's perfection. So... I'm sorry (throw anything you want, just not pandas, shipwrecks, or Warlock Apples.) no lemon for this chapter. :/**

**Instead, we'll move to a time where they are entering thy Pineapple Suite and Resort Palace, or, PSRP for short.**

**I apologize profusely. ;_;**

**~!##$$%%^^&&**&&^^%%$$##!~**

Alec got through the landing perfectly fine, as he was completely distracted from the pressure, for he was blissfully riding out an orgasm the entire time...

And then both Magnus and Alec both were frantically getting clothes on when they heard the _click_ of the divider unlocking. They were finished in the nick of time, messed up looking (not Magnus) and fabulous (totally Magnus.) Alec was too preoccupied to notice much as Magnus lead him through the airport, getting stopped various times for autographs and small chats with people Magnus apparently knew. Alec was still lost in his thoughts when they reached the Pineapple, and it was when he stepped out of the cab that he realized how unbelievably hot it was.

"Jesus Christ!" Alec yelped, jumping into the shade of the nearest palm tree. "Smoldering, isn't it darling?" Magnus asked, stretching in the heat of the sun.

Alec stared at the lucsious curve of his back as he did so.

"And now sweetheart, we gotta go meet 'Marvin'."

"Why are you doing the weird quotation fingers when you say this guys name?"

"Because 'Marvin' wants to tell you his name in his own way."

Alec hadn't the heart to argue with this logic. Not with Magnus, anyway.

He followed Magnus the best he could without getting distracted. Hordes of people, both human and downworld, were swarming the place. Their were hundreds of palm trees, dozen of football feild sized pools with swim-up bars. There was music blaring, and sweat being dripped in the hot Hawaiian sun. Alec felt the heat intensify, not only physically as his dark clothes attracted the light of the sun, but emotionally in both bad and good ways.

Bad, because people (both downworlders and humans alike) were oggling his boyfriend without shame. He fought the jealous urge to glare at all of them, with a look that would hopefully read "BACK THE FUCK OFF BITCH HE'S MY MAN!"

And then, it was all good because he was still horny as fuck from the plane ride, and his luscious boyfriend was just that hot.

It got even better when Magnus whipped around, the glitter catching the sun and blinding everyone within fifty feet of him. The blue of his hair stood out impeccably, and Alec stared at the forgein color while Magnus approached him, seemingly sick of waiting for Alec to catch up with him. "Allie-andro darling? Wakey wakey, you're turning red. Bad red. Not beautiful blush red. Overheating red. SHIRT OFF!" Magnus cheered.

And before Alec could comprehend the Warlock's words, he felt Magnus practically ripping off his shirt. "Magnus!" Alec yelped, instantly feeling a little cooler despite the burn of the sun. By the time he was completely shirtless and composed, he noticed Magnus had his shirt off as well, and a pair of harem pants... but instead of pink, they were now yellow.

Alec couldn't help but stare for a few moments. Magnus's hair was still blue, and his eye make-up was the same, but now he was shirtless, letting shiny silver nipple rings glare out in the sunlight. His pants wrung low on his hips, and were a stunning yellow, which contrasted nicely with his skin. the design on them, Alec realized, were all in the shapes of symbols of the Warlock language.

"I'll let you keep the jeans... For now." Magnus promised, winking, before he swung an arm around Alec and directed Alec into the bizzare building that was shaped like a giant pineapple.

**~!##$$&*!**

Magnus had walzed to the reception desk, and one look at the receptionist was enough for her to excitedly pick up her intercom and page down the owner of the PSRP. Magnus thanked, gave her a very random (and generous) tip, and directed Alec to a door to the right. Alec was greeted by a VERY tanned man, who was wearing a hawaain tourist shirt and long white jeans. His yellow tinged sunglasses covered his eyes, and his striking red hair stuck out in all directed, like he had rolled out of bed.

"MAGNUS!" The man screamed, thoroughly scaring Alec for a moment or two. "AND YOU MUST BE ALEC! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU MY NAME IS BART LACROMILE VON TERMOOSHA!"

Alec was shaken to the core on how freaking LOUD this guy was!

Bart Lacromile von Termoosha kept yelling. "I AM VERY SORRY FOR MY LOUDNESS, DUE TO SMOKING MAGIC-BASED WOLFSBANE AND SWISS CHEESE COMBINED IT HAD A WEIRD EFFECT ON MY VOCAL BOX AND THEREFOR I CANNOT CONTROL THE TONE OF MY VOICE. I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY FOR MY SCREAMING ONCE MORE, NOW PLEASE, SIT DOWN IN THESE CHAIRS AND I WILL EXPLAIN TO YOU ALEC, WHAT EXACTLY YOU AND MAGNUS WILL BE DOING HERE OKAY! WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! SIT!"

Alec was terrified, and did as he was told, and looking over at Magnus with a supreme look of fright caused Magnus to only smile and squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"LONG TIME NO SEE MAGNUS." Bart screamed, shaking Magnus's hand briefly as he sat down. "It has been awhile." Magnus said quietly, as if to even the balance of loud and silent.

"I ASSUME YOUR CHOREOGRAPHY THIS YEAR WILL BE PHENOMINAL?"

"Yes. Fabulous."

"CAN ALEC GIVE ME A CRITIQUE!"

"I didn't show him. He will be ravished by the sight of it along with everyone else next week."

"OH, OK THEN. NOW ALEC, MAGNUS HERE IS YOUR BOYRFIEND, CORRECT?"

Alec shrunk back into his seat. "Y-yes...?"

"VERY NICE. NOW REST ASSURED, BEING HIS BOYFRIEND YOU WILL FEEL VERY POSSESIVE OF HIM FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR STAY. BE SURE TO NOT LET HIM OUT OF YOUR SIGHT, HE MIGHT GET RAPED. GOD ONLY KNOWS THAT HE NEARLY GOT RAPED LAST YEAR BY THE SCARY WOMAN, WHAT WAS HER NAME?"

"Cameron."

"OH YES, THAT SNIVELLING BITCH."

Alec's face: O_o

"ANYWAYS, BEWARE! NOW I WILL TALK TO YOU GUYS LATER I JUST GOT A TELEPATHIC MESSAGE FROM THIS WEIRD BARTENDER DOWN IN POOL 65, GOOD DAY TO YOU, JERKINS WILL SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM."

And thus, Bart Lacrolmile von Termoosha left.

Magnus and Alec were silent for several seconds. At last, Alec broke the silence.

"I don't think I've ever appreciated a moment of silence in the entirety of my life."

"Me too darling, me too."

"And did he scream something about magical wolfsbane and swiss cheese?"

"Yup."

"How is it magical...? I didn't see his eyes, so is he like... A warlock?"

"Oh heavens no. Bart is indeed a downworlder, but he's a very rare species."

"Such as...?"

"He's what we would call a 'Humorian Jackelrot.' It's a humor demon, funnier than fucking hell. Before he opened this place he was a GREAT comedian."

**~!#$%^**

Jerkins turned out to be a very friendly young man. Very. Friendly.

Alec hated him.

Good ol' Jerkins with his striking good looks and tanned skin was totally stereotypically GAY. And Alec swore to himself, that if Jerkins touched Magnus's arm ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, HE WOULD FIND A SERAPH BLADE UP HIS ASS.

That aside, when they reached the penthouse suite, Alec felt his breathe taken away. The room was ginormous, and obscenely yellow. And everything seemed to do with pineapples. Honestly, how more in depth can you get to a fruit?

Magnus dismissed Jerkins, much to Jerkins dissapointment, and locked the door, leaning his back up against it casually as he watched Alec soak in the room.

"It's so... yellow."

**~!#$%%^&&**()**

**Oh yah. It's been FREAKISHLY LONG!**

**Omg I love Bart Lacromile von Termoosha. He's awesome. But his downworlderness fails so epically XD**

**Now my darling kittens, I am prepared for you to throw applesauce at my face for such a wait.**

**Love to allllll :D**

**Allie**


	6. Chapter 6

**YAY! :D**

**Durr.**

**I own everything. :3**

***THE SCARY MEN IN BLACK SUITS RETURN!***

**O_O. Enjoy the chap-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *being manhandled***

**~!#$%$^&**

It had been three hours since Magnus and Alec had arrived in their suite and settled down within it.

Alec decided that he liked it, for Magnus, like he had promised, had set up the room beforehand.

Magnus had a clone of his canary yellow duvet, and Alec's alarm clock was there too. In the bathroom there were black towels for Alec (with a little A. L. in the corner) and yellow, green, blue, and pink towels for Magnus with his initials as well. The shower curtain was apparently bought recently, because Magnus thought the original one was ugly as sin. It was now transarent. Alec blushed at the thoughts of him showering and then Magnus randomly barging in.

The kitchentte was graced with various different plates and silverware from home, and Alec and Magnus's matching mugs which read "AL+MB=4EVAH!"

Alec blushed some more.

The living room area was adorned with a 60" television, along with several shiny boxes. Magnus said they were "video game consoles."

Yah. Whatever.

Magnus also had convinced Alec to put something less sun-attracting, to which Alec reluctantly agreed. Magnus changed as well (of course.)

Alec now had a white wife-beater and red swim shorts, "sexy"with an arrow pointing to the right on the boosum, which Magnus had informed him he would be walking on the right side of his body because of this *wink wink.*

Magnus had once again gone all out. He washed his face clear of make-up and re-applied it differently, and his eyes were in different shades of blue and his lips a liquid silver. He decided to go shirtless, showing off his sleeve tattoos and all the rest of the glorious ink on his upper body. He traded his harem pants for dark blue swim shorts, with "My boyfriend :D" with an arrow, and informed Alec that the arrow would be pointing at him all night long. *winky face* He painted his fingernails and toenails the same metallic silver as his lips, and he claimed that he was ready to go... As long as Alec supplied him with a few kisses for courage.

And within ten minutes, Alec knew why he needed that courage.

The moment they set foot in the hotel lobby there was an uproar. Flashes from cameras went off, and screams of "MAGNUS!"rung through the air. Alec stumbled back in surprise, to which Magnus gracefully helped him recover. Alec looked at him, terrified, and Magnus just nodded frantically, fighting through the crowd with a repellant spell.

It was truly an experience. Magnus took the photos with pride, and Alec went along for the ride. At first, he was reluctant to do anything at all but frown and cross his arms... But then he remembered something.

And then he looked around.

And then he randomly groped Magnus's ass and brought him in for a kiss, gaining both wild cheers of encouragement and wild gasps from creepy fangirls.

Magnus was happy. Alec knew this all to well.

But of course something had to ruin it.

And that something happened to be Bart Lacromile von Termoosha... and Cameron.

"Oh my fucking god that's so disgusting!"

"AWE THAT IS SO ADORABLE AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SNIVELLING BITCH QUIT BEING SUCH A HOMOPHOBE WHY CAN'T YOU APPRECIATE SUCH BEAUTIFUL LOVE I MEAN WHAT IF I SAW YOU TRYING TO RAPE ANOTHER POOR GUY AFTER THE LUOU AND THEN I STARTED SAYING THAT STRAIGHT SEX WAS GROSS?"

Magnus and Alec broke their kiss, Magnus smirking at Bart's comeback and Alec glowering murderously at Cameron.

**!$#%%$##$%**

Everyone was outside now, everyone gathered around a large circular stage. They were surrounded by palm trees, and the evening breeze was washing through the air, blowing around peoples hair and some of the dancers straw skirts. The crowd of nearly three thousand people were talking loudly amongest themselves.

Beneath the stage in an unknown little room, Alec was watching Magnus prep for an appearence.

"SO YOU SEE ALEC THIS IS THE PART WHERE I, BART LACROMILE VON TERMOOSHA ANNOUNCE ALL THE WONDERFUL AND VITALLY IMPORTANT PEOPLE THAT HAVE SOME TO STAY AT THE PINEAPPLE THIS WONDERFUL SECOND WEEK OF AUGUST. MAGNUS WILL OF COURSE BE ONE OF THE MANY PEOPLE INTRODUCED, AND THEN HE WILL GIVE US ALL A SAMPLE OF WHY EXACTLY HE IS HERE. AND THEN HE WILL GIVE A SMALL SPEECH ABOUT WHAT THE CROWD SHOULD EXPECT FROM HIM. HEY ALEC DO YOU LIKE TOMATOES? IF SO THEN STAY AWAY FROM THEM. THEY MAY TASTE GOOD BUT THEY HURT LIKE A SNIVELLING BITCH WHEN THROWN AT YOU. BY THE WAY MAGNUS YOU LOOK LOVELY IN THAT SKIRT OF YOURS!"

That, Alec could agree with. His boyfriend had changed his clothes for the fourth time today. Now his lean, glittered gold torso was bare, with a shark tooth necklace dangling from a thick black cord around his neck. At his hips he wore an elegant golden scarf, that contrasted with the bright grass green of his grass skirt. His ankles were sheathed in grass that swayed when he stepped. His eyes andn lips were painted a molten gold, and with concentrated amounts of glitter around his eyes and in random streaks in his pale blue hair.

His hair was orgasmic. It was left down, but carried extra volume, pushed behind his ears to let his multiple piercings show. Silver was the color chosen for all showing piercings.

His industrial was shaped like a flowers, and all other cartilages were in the shapes of hoops. The ones in the soft flesh of his ears were studs, and his tapers were spiralling. His two left eyebrow rings were shinging brightly against his complection, just like his nose, lip, tongue, both nipples, and bellybutton.

The ink of his arms even matched his appearence. Alec felt himself get a little... Excited at the sight.

"ARE YOU READY MR. MAGICMAN?" Bart screamed, and Alec felt his excitement deflate...

Magnus cracked his neck and his knuckles, throwing his arms into the air excitedly. "LET'S DO EET!" He yelled, pulling a slightly dazed Alec to his feet and dragging him up a small set of stairs. Alec was instantly blinded by the hundreds of cameras that flashed, and Magnus bowed and pulled Alec to a seat. Alec barely had the time to look at the five others in chairs around them, because his gaze was drawn to a certain someone.

... Cameron.

**~!#%$#!~!#$|%$#**

"GOOD EVENING HUMANS AND ALL OF MY VERY SPECIAL DIVERSE FRIENDS!"

The crowd screamed in greeting, girls were jumping, raising their arms in the air and shaking them like they just didn't care (who they hit in the face.)

Many of the male population were whooping, raising their beverages into the air triumphantly.

"THIS YEAR AT THE PINEAPPLE, WE OF COURSE HAVE MANY GREAT THINGS GOING ON FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS OR SO! MOST OF YOU REMEMBER ME AS YOUR FRIENDLY COMEDIAN, AND OF COURSE THE OWNER OF THIS SPECTACULAR RESORT! TO THE NEWCOMERS, MY NAME BART LACROMILE VON TERMOOSHA!"

The screams were deafening.

Bart went on to introducing Razmond De'Rouge, a snake charmer from eastern Europe. Razmond had with him a large king cobra, which he kissed for a full five seconds to appease the crowd. And then there was Loius Horn, an exotic dancer that would be sticking to one of the hotel's dozens of private clubbing areas. Everyone got a biography of them, a small token of what to expect, but the noise made from the crowd was PIDDLY compared to the racket made when Magnus Bane was announced.

"MANY OF YOU FINE YOUNG LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WILL REMEMBER THIS FACE, THIS BEAUTIFUL ANGELIC FACE THAT SHOWED US ALL THE BEAUTIFUL OF A DANGEROUS FLAME. RESIDENTS, I WELCOME BACK MAGNUS BANE OF NEW YORK!"

Magnus stood up proudly, winking at his boyfriend and made his way to stand beside Bart and take the mic.

"Hi." He said simply.

In response he got catcalls, screams of "MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE" and "I LOVE YOU MAGNUUUUUUS!"

"So most of you now me from last year as the fire dancer. My poles range in length from a two feet all the way to seven feet long while both ends are aflame. You know me by my golden skin and my glitter, and of course, my fabulous body art. This year, sorry to dissapoint you all, wait no... Actually I'm not sorry. how can i be sorry for bringing to the one I love most in this world to watch me turn into sex on legs? Of course I'm already sex on legs, but it's intesified," Magnus winked, and the girls swooned. "I brought my boyfriend with me. So don't touch him. or you'll find my fire poles up your ass and through your eyeball, kay?" He said cheerfully, looking back at his smiling and blushing boyfriend.

"And now, i'll give you a lick of what to expect from me after this long year away." Another wink, and Bart handed him a 7 foot long pole made of solid bamboo.

The stage lights dimmed, and the crowd grew quite. So quiet as they watched a very still Magnus on the stage. After several seconds, the sparks came. Blue azure against the yellowed light, and all were surprised when a bright blue flame erupted from where his right hand was placed on the pole. Not only did the flame creep along the bamboo to settle at the ends, but it creeped up his arm. People who weren't at all familiar with his show were flabbergasted, someone even shouted in fright...

But the worry came to an end when the light illuminated the lower part of his face, and all they could see was the cocky grin plastered to his face.

**~!%$I#)(*&^%$#$%^&#**

**So... much... freaking... writers block...!**

**~Allie-appleseed XD**


	7. PATHETIC EFFING CHAPPIE

**The scary men in black suits have taken a vacation. They will be at the fire-show ;D Hehe.**

**So I thought I'd give them a break, and admit to myself the awful truth that i do NOT own the Mortal Instruments.**

**No matter how many people I kill. **

**...**

**Just kidding. :D**

**~!#%$*#**

Alec was trying very hard to keep his eyes on his boyfriend. He really was. But with the death glare he was receiving and the death glare he strained to return was occupying most of his attention. Alec could hear snippets of Magnus's vocal announcements, and once heard his name attached to many dearing words. So of course Alec blushed, but at the same time, he could hardly tear his face away from that snivelling bitch.

Cameron was wearing a sundress to show off her lean build, her hair in elegant braids. Her friend Teri was with her, and Teri was screaming at the intense shit going on upon the stage. Cameron seemed to care less. She was focused on Alec.

Cameron snarled dangerously at some points, and Alec just kept his gaze, refusing to back down from a mere girl's glare.

What the fuck was up with her?

**~!$%#~#**

*MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH... UH, INSTITUTE...*

"VACATION!" Isabelle screamed, flailing her arms in the air in annoyance. "Friggin' ALEC had the fucking MAGIC MAN to lure our MOTHER under a spell and write out a CONTRACT to let him take ALEC to fucking HAWAII and we are expected to STAY HERE!" She collapsed onto the couch, only to get up again moments later. She began to pace... And then stared down Jace and Clary.

"Kay Iz, honestly, even I'm a little frazzled but I don't need to freak. Demon-killing is fun, and we get to show those demon's who's ugly and who's pretty! I, am pretty goddamnit." Jace said, rolling his eyes. Of course he could not hide his very evident jealousy.

Clary looked back and forth between the siblings as a silence overcame them all...

"You know... We could go there too..." She said hesitantly.

Her best friend and boyfriend turned slowly to look at her dead on.

Clary looked down at her hands on her lap. "We're shadowhunters. We don't need to buy plane tickets-"

"Clary the Clave wouldn't give us the time off or pay us the money to go-" Isabelle interuppted.

Clary glared at her.

"I can make a portal."

**!#$%^&**

Canoodling in public was shaping up to be Alec's favorite thing. Ever.

Alec didn't trust soul in this hotel... Besides Magnus, and he even felt a little trust towards Bart.

Regardless. Canoodling.

Alec was appreciating his position, underneath his boyfriend's plush buttocks, said ass was moving around purposely to get a reaction out of Alec... And Alec didn't hide it, if it felt good he grabbed Magnus's hips and ground upwards, earning himself a throaty growl from Magnus, who ended up needing to cross his legs to hide an overly obvious erection.

All the while people were approaching them and introducing themselves, girls shamelessly yet cautiously trying to show off there bodies to Magnus, laughing at every little thing that Magnus said. Only Alec realized that Magnus knew that they would laugh at anything, so Alec was the only one who seemed to catch the words "My mummy was murdered." Of course these gaggling girls would laugh like Magnus was absolutely fucking HILARIOUS, and it was the fact that these girls were so unbelievably STUPID that caused Alec and Magnus to laugh along with them.

Oh the joys of canoodling. Magnus was quite happy with Alec's confidence, and it was exactly the confidence Magnus had expected from him during this dangerous time. Magnus was hoping that just maybe, JUST MAYBE... there would be a possibility of this continuing on into the future, when they went home.

HE COULD IMAGINE IT NOW! Alec, groping his ass in front of his parents! Kissing him wherever he pleased! THE GUTS TO FUCK IN A PUBLIC PLACE!

**~!#%^%$!#**

"Soooo Clary you researched the place and got a picture?" Jace asked, twirling his stele between his fingers. "Yea, but the only good one I could find was of it's lobby, but it'll have to do." Clary said, taking a deep breath and placing her own stele on the wall in front of her.

**~!#$%**

**DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW UNINSPIRED I AM FOR THIS STORY!**

**Now you know, cuz this is pathetically nowhere close to 1000 words long.**

**DEAR LORD PEOPLE!**  
**Ideas?**

**God I feel pathetic.**

**DAMNIT ALL!**


	8. Authors Letters,

**Dear Irony,**

**One word.**

**Sterile.**

**Warlocks are sterile.**

**Because they are sterile, they can't have kids.**

**That is all.**

**~Allie.**

**Dear Reviewers,**

**Thanks for everything. Seriously. But right now, you're gonna have to wait.**

**A long time.**

**Exotic Pineapples just isn't wanting to click in my mind.**

**I AM NOT ABANDONING IT THOUGH!**

**Everyones suggestions are exactly what this upcoming chapter is supposed to be about,**

**and Clary and co's arrival was planned the moment i though of**

**Exotic Pineapples.**

**Yes, Alec will be awkward, magnus will be angry, Jace will be full of himself,**

**Clary will draw, and Isabelle will be a whore.**

**I hope ye can be patient with me, cuz trust me, I fucking hate writers block. It is SUCH**

**A BITCH.**

**Goddamnit.**

**And I shouldn't say this,**

**Cuz I might excite myself to much,**

**But I've decided that there will be a sequel to this story, if I ever finish it.**

**It won't be based in Hawaii. Or have anything to do with fire-shows.**

**Just wait and see.**

**~Allie**

**Dear Magnus,**

**Any strawberry pocky?**

**I'm hungry.**

**~Allie**

**Dear "Kora",**

**No.**

**I think that is offensive, ridiculous, and I CANNOT BELIEVE**

**you think that you can march on fanfiction, and start telling people off**

**because of the content! YO. I FUCKIND WARNED YOU IN THE SUMMARY.**

**I claimed that I didn't own this series in the very first chapter!**

**DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ!**

**Lotsa love, NOT,**

**~Allie.**

**Dear Readers,**

**Thank you for your time.**

**~Allie.**


	9. Chapter 8

The first thing Clary saw when she stepped through the portal, was a giant billboard. Said giant billboard, had a giant picture of a giant Magnus Bane, with giant eyes and giant lettering reading "Tame the Flame".

The second thing she saw, was the giant amount of yellow clouding her vision, which she determined to be the room itself. 'Twas true, upon taking a closer look she realized that the carpet was yellow, the walls were yellow, everything was fucking YELLOW. What is up with that? Who knows, but Clary didn't care about the obscene amount of yellow at the moment. She wanted to know why Magnus Bane, in all of his sexy glory, was on a giant fucking billboard! Surrounded by flames! And half naked! Had Alec seen this? Did he approve if he has? What on EARTH? Was this resort for downworlders only? So the flames that were sprouting from billboard-Magnus were known to be magical fire? That was BLUE? If there were mundanes, what did they think?

SO MANY DARN QUESTIONS!

Clary slapped herself in frustration, knowing now (finally) that asking to many questions could get her in deep shit. But that's besides the point, as Jace and Isabelle had entered through the portal."Dear ANGEL it looks like Spongebob puked all over the place." Aaah, Jace, Clary thought, you are such a retard.

That aside!

Jace's first impression, was that Spongebob threw up all over the place, or shat, or something along those lines. Who knows! The real question he had was why on EARTH there were seemingly hundreds of people with cameras, clicking away with blinding flashes, surrounding something he couldn't see. His second impression, is that Spongebob was real and was making his appearence, a distraction so Mr. Krabb could invade the bikini bottoms of the several women who were wearing swimsuits. But soon, he realized that all of that was completely illogical, thus he dismissed the thoughts with a fluff of his golden locks.

"Cameras! Do you suppose a celebrity is staying here?"

"... Isabelle, look where Clary's looking."

"What- Oooh. What the fuck!"

Isabelle stared at Magnus' giant photo with a twitching eye.

There are no words to describe what she thought in that moment.

"ALRIGHT MY SUBJECTS! PICTURE TIME IS OVER, MAGNUS BANE WILL NO LONGER BE TAKING PHOTOS NOR SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS, IF YOU'D PLEASE STEP BACK FROM THE HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW CARPET, THAT WOULD BE POSSITIVELY LOVELY, THANK YOU."

Well... Isabelle's thought revolved around a mix of "MAGNUS BANE IS FAMOUS OMG WTF" and "Yellow is a gross color..." and "OMG WTF THAT GUY IS SO LOUD".

But then, Clary spoke up.

"Magnus Bane. OUR Magnus Bane? Getting his photo taken and signing autographs?"

However the sound of her voice was drowned out by the crowd going wild, an epic chorus of "KISS HIM! KISS HIM! KISS HIM!" being shrieked within the large room. The chorus aduptly stopped, cheering was heard throughout the resort as the crowd had obviously gotten what they wanted.

"... Guys, I hate to be the one to say it, but I think Magnus is cheating on Alec."

The three looked at each other, and booked it into the crowd, pushing down anyone who got in their way. As soon as they caught sight of bright sparkly blue hair, Isabelle called out to Magnus Bane, only to stop on the first syllable as all three were frozen in shock.

**~!#$%##$%$#!**

Alec was more than enjoying himself. He knew that in any other situation, he'd be a total nut if he believed that his bravery could top the courage he felt at the moment. For you see, Alec was a shy kinda guy, not much for the limelight, and he was repulsed when someone thought he looked good in a picture of any sort. He hated having his picture taken almost as much as he hated plants and Amy Winehouse.

He also detested having people screaming his boyfriends name, hell, Alec should be the only one certified to do that, for when Magnus pounds his hard cock into Alec's nearly virginally tight ass. Not only did he detest the screams, he detested the crowds as well. Normally, in a detestable situation, Alec would shy away from the crowds, and when he was annoyed, he'd plow down anyone in the way.

However, this was totally different from what he'd normally act like.

He never felt more bold, taking every moment to feel up his boy friend, stroking an ever-growing erection through the thin fabric of the harem pants. He talked to the reporters as he did so too, smirking when he noticed that Magnus was trying very hard not to moan in the corner of his eye. Magnus, busied himself with having one hand on Alec's inner thigh and the other signing the chests of women and papers from others. Mostly chests though.

Magnus and Alec posed for several, probably hundreds of photos. Some were cute and adorable like that one commercial for some obnoxious ringtone of some sort that had a bunny with giant eyes and snuggling a cell phone or some shit like that. But most, were nearly classified as porn. The variety was incredible, for one picture would be of Magnus tongue-fucking Alec's willing mouth, and sometimes it would be the other way around. There were tons of pictures depicting Magnus or Alec rubbing the others sexy body with slim, impatient fingers.

And both were sluts for the crowd. They did everything they could to wire up the crowd.

Eventually, Alec whispered in Magnus' ear that he was tired, and thought he and Magnus could use some much needed "bath-time" in their suite's jacuzzi. Magnus nodded, nipping at Alec's neck.

Both tried to grab the attention of Bart Lacromile von Termoosha, but Bart was to busy having his ass playfully slapped by a pink-skinned Faerie. They were so preoccupied with it, they only just registered the screams of "KISS HIM! KISS HIM! KISS HIM! KISS HIM!"

Magnus turned his head to look at the spectators, then to Alec's distracted face. "Hey Alec?"

Alec just barely snapped out of his distracted trance, grinding instinctively on Magnus's lap, making Magnus whimper. "Yes..?" Alec gave him the look of a pure, amazing, sex.

"The crowd wants one more thing from us." Magnus whispered, tongue darting out to lick along his abused lips, earning an encouraging scream from the crowds. Alec bit his lip, exaggerating a heated grind on his lap, grabbing onto the sides of Magnus's head, and crushing their mouths together for one, really hot, porn star kiss.

**(&UE#*^Y$E*(*#^&%#&%!*$**

**IT'S BEEN FOREVER, I KNOW, AND I'M SORRY! I've been stuck in the psych ward for the last however long, and my meds stripped me of my writing mojo!**

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROBABLY NON EXISTANT PATIENCE!**

**I'll try to update faster, I swear.**

**Also, I am handing out free cookies, in a sad attempt of earning your forgiveness. :3**

**Much love,**

**Allie**


	10. Chapter 9

"I can't believe this!" Isabelle huffed angrily. "We'll find them, jeez. Loosen up a little, will you?" Jace said irritably, pulling Clary along since she was constantly getting distracted.

"Jace! Jace, look! There's a tiki bar over there...!" Clary said loudly, trying to resist her boyfriends tugs. "CLARY YOU HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A MOSQUITO. WE. NEED. TO. FIND. ALEC. And Magnus." Isabelle snapped, stomping her heels in the sand, which looked ridiculous.

Clary merely rolled her eyes, and tried her best to pay attention to the people rather than the attractions of the Pineapple.

You see, after witnessing Alec and Magnus practically have sex in the lobby with hundreds of fans encouraging the act... They just disappeared. Well, they didn't disappear. They just suddenly got up and ran like hell outdoors, with Magnus blowing a quick kiss to the crowd as they went. Large werewolves prevented anybody from following them out.

So now, Isabelle, Clary, and Jace were trying to find them, and were failing miserably.

Where had they gone...? What were they doing? And why?

Why. Why. Why.

!#*$&%

The tropical breeze drifted over Magnus and Alec as they lay in the shadows of the palm trees. They sat contently in the sand, watching the ocean tides. They each had electric lemonades in their hands, sipping on occasion. The scent of the sea was intoxicating, and it didn't help that the wind carried Magnus' strong citrus scent around them as well. Regardless, they were relaxed on this private stretch of the beach, and both were lost in thought, enjoying the peace and each other.

"I love you Alexander." Magnus said out of the blue.

Alec smiled, setting his drink down in the sand. "I love you too, Magnus..."

Magnus smiled, also setting his drink down. "You know Alec... you're quite pale. I think you should put on some sunscreen." He smirked, magically conjuring a bottle.

Alec grinned a little, silently agreeing and stripping off his shirt. "Do my back?"

Magnus licked his lips in response as Alec turned over onto his stomach. Magnus slowly nestled onto Alec's ass, popping the cap and squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers. He threw the bottle away, bringing the cool lotion onto the small of Alec's back. He heard Alec sigh in anticipation, and then he moaned as he felt Magnus' long fingers spreading the sunscreen around.

Magnus massaged Alec's back thoroughly, taking his time to loosen up the firm muscles. He scooted down a little to sit on top of Alec's thighs, and ever so carefully brought down the waist band of the swim shorts.

Unknown to Magnus, Alec smiled, his cock hardening at the sudden thoughts of beach sex. He lifted his hips to let Magnus take them off, and when they were off he ground back down, appeasing the erection.

Magnus' fingers teased Alec, letting them drift to the tops of his full cheeks, before skipping the globes themselves to rub his thighs.

Alec groaned, ever so slightly pushing into the touch. "Magnus..."

"Yes, love?"

"Keep teasing... And I won't be responsible for what I do next."

Magnus smirked, pressing down more and rubbing his hands up against Alec's ass. "Really, baby...? I won't be responsible for my actions either, if you keep looking so delicious."

Alec smirked, suddenly propping himself up on his elbows. "I want to return the favor." He announced, casually rolling over onto his back and sitting up, causing Magnus to get off of him.

"What?" Magnus asked, momentarily confuzzled.

"Give me the lotion, and get on your stomach." Alec said quietly, reaching a hand out to caress his Warlock's cheek, and trail down his chest and stomach, lingering at the place where a bellybutton should have been.

Magnus practically purred, obeying Alec's request.

He felt Alec take off his swim shorts, with Alec encouraging that he lift his hips. When he did, he felt the ghost of Alec's strong hand against his dick, and Magnus nearly moaned in pleasure. However, he kept quiet, wondering what Alec would do next.

Alec squeezed the lotion onto Magnus' back directly, wasting no time as he got to work in coating the caramel skin. Alec's hands were soft, and unbelievably sensual, the sensation and the dirty thoughts that plagued Magnus' mind was enough to let out a loud, erotic moan.

"Do you like that...?" Alec whispered in his ear, his hands now moving slower, and more sensual. Magnus nodded, and twitched when he felt Alec's fingers grazing over the cleft of his ass. "I love it..." He breathed out, pushing up against Alec's fingers.

Alec smirked, pushing past the cheek to prod at the tight ring of muscle.

"Are you gonna fuck me, Alec?" Magnus asked, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling, and willing Alec's fingers to push past the barrier.

At that, Alec sank his fingers inside Magnus' body, gaining a small shriek followed by a low moan.

"Yes." Alec whispered, moving two fingers in and out slowly, scissoring and seeking the spot that could make Magnus scream.

He knew he had found it when Magnus suddenly made a motion to get up, before slamming back into the sand, his hips rolling and a breathless moan escaping his lips.

"Alec... Alec I need to kiss you, let me up." Magnus' voice sounded desperate, so Alec exited his ass, and let him up.

He didn't see it coming, with all his years of shadowhunting to back him up, when Magnus Bane barreled him into the ground and kissed his heart out, grinding their throbbing cocks together in need.

"I... Love... You..." Magnus said in between kisses, barely noticing when Alec took hold of his own erection and guided it to Magnus' entrance.

#$%#$!%

Isabelle had stopped, mouth over her hand as she watched the scene unfold.

She never thought Alec had the guts to top, but there they were...

Jace and Clary were oblivious, as they were discussing heatedly why Clary had the attention span of a sponge.

Isabelle watching as Magnus threw his head back in ecstasy as Alec thrusted upwards into Magnus, and Magnus himself was slamming down onto him and grinding to his heart's content.

How much hotter could it get? Isabelle didn't know. But she had a half coherent mind to know that Jace would NOT want to see his brother and a 800+ year old Warlock fucking.

"H-hey guys? I think we should check the pool area." She quickly turned from the pure sex and walked quickly in the opposite direction, catching Jace and Clary by the elbows and marching them away.

Somehow, they didn't take much notice. They were still arguing whether or not a sponge had n attention span at all.

* * *

**It's been a long time, I understand. ._.**

**But... here. Enjoy it while it lasts.**


	11. The Letter, AN

_Alright bitches, I have news for you all._

_I recently got a very angry PM (I seem to be getting a lot of these lately)._

_In it, they called me a lazy little fuck that can't write for shit. So, okay. Let me tell you now; When I feel like updating, I will fucking update. I'm busier than shit in the colon and I don't have time for your fucking bullshit comments._

_If you want to hear from me so badly, go and add me on Tumblr. Which, you can find on my profile page._

_I have a job, I home-school, I got married recently and adopted a son from fucking London. So, you can take your complaints, and shove them up your dirty, HIV infected ass._

_Thank you. :D_

_p.s, Happy Zombie Jesus Day!_


	12. The End

_HA. HAHAHAHAHA._

_It's funny, for that authors note I got more reviews than I did for the last actual chapter I updated._

_And, I'm 16._

_HA. I consider myself married, though. That Texan lady has captured my heart and holds it in the palm of her hand._

_It sucks, cuz like she's in Texas and I'm in fucking Canada and I swear on my life that she's my fucking soulmate. you all know her, she's **MaybeTheresHope** on here. :D So go read her stuff. She's fucking amazing~_

_My son in our adopted gay child who is the same age as me._

_HI AIDYN! SAY HI TO MATT FOR ME._

_Anyways, I'm actually posting this for a reason._

_I'm abandoning Exotic Pineapples. If anybody wants to take it and continue it, just let me know._

_I have my reasons for quitting this story;_

_1. Readers. Someone on this site is out for my blood, I swear._

_2. Because of this little dickfart, I loath the idea of finishing it._

_And my darlings, all my other reasons branch out on those two main reasons._

_I wish you all the best. Oh, and I'm not apologizing for abandoning Exotic Pineapples. :) I fucking felt like it, and I have no regrets, so I won't be sorry for it._

_I love you all who stuck by the story and graced me with kind words about it. I really appreciated it._

_With all my love, as always,_

_allie_


End file.
